Ready or Not

I have now officially given myself my first shot! The doctors office gives you a period of time that you are suppose to give your shot (between 6:30-9:00) and we thought 8:00pm sounded like a good time for us. So about 7:30 I started cleaning off an area to lay everything out on and to kind of read the instruction over again. This first medicine I had to dissolve a powder by injecting a liquid in the vial, but the instructions emphasised to not create bubbles!!!! Well, right away bubbles started forming and I knew that was not good. So for the next 45 minutes we sat at the dinning room table trying to get rid of the bubbles. Our 8:00 shot time had come and past and by 8:30 we decided that it was good enough and I needed to go ahead and take my shot. By this time I was aggravated and just ready to get it over with, so the actual shot was not that bad. I had to give it right under my belly button and I really did not feel the needle at all, but the medicine going in was a different story. It was so weird, I could feel the medicine spreading all over my abdomen and this morning it feels like I did a lot of crunches throughout the night. Oh the joys of injections!!!! I hope that all the other injections aren't as eventful as this one.

A lot of you are asking when things will be happening, so I decided to give you my calendar of events. Here is just a brief outline of what we are going to be going through the next month:

11/3: Cetrotide injection (eventful bubble problem shot)

11/4-11/6: Wait for Aunt Flo (I think she is already here)

11/7 -11/16: HCG and Gonal-F injections (2 injections per day)

11/18: Estimated Egg Retrieval Day* (Out-patient surgery, hope to come home same day)

11/23: Embryo Transfer* (Probably 2 transfered)

11/24: Bed rest at a near by hotel (Get waited on hand and foot)

11/25: Bed rest (come home from the hotel)

11/27: Thanksgiving Day

12/8: Blood work to see if it took (Hope for a strong BFP)

*Will be done in Webster, TX near NASA

The smell of apple cider

I love fall!!!! I mean what is there not to love? There are so many nostalgic memories during fall for me. The sights and smells are just so great I just want to soak them all in, because I know not before long it will be over. The smell of apple cider, crunch of leaves under my feet, pumpkin patches and hay rides are just a few things I love about fall. I love to cuddle up on the couch with a hot cup of cider and watch an old holiday movie with Marcus. I love Thanksgiving because it's a time when families can gets together, eat and catch up with everything going on in our lives. I love waking up on Thanksgiving morning and flipping from one parade to another. I might not be able to do much this Thanksgiving, but it will for sure be one I will always remember!!! I am hoping by Thanksgiving I will be nurturing two little babies inside me!!!! I figured it was time I posted something other than the technical side of IVF; there will be plenty of that to come in the next few weeks. Here's to fall!!!!

God IS in Control!

On my way to get my massage yesterday the RE called me. Up until this point I have been talking with the nurse and relaying the information through her, so it was nice to be able to talk directly to my doctor and tell her my concerns. She started off the conversation by apologizing for the mix up and that she had forgot that we had already seen the doctor they wanted us to go to. I think she had a consult with this doctor and he made her realize that we can't go to him and that we are doing all that we can do. She assured me that everything is going to work out and I can continue on with my meds. I am going tomorrow for a few tests and to sign the final paperwork, so everything will be official!

I know there are going to be times when it seems like everything is out of control and I have to keep reminding myself that I am not in control, God is. This is very hard for me and I know this is a major part of me that God is working on. God has revealed so many things to me throughout this journey. At the Coffee House this Sunday Marcus made a statement that if God would show us the entire picture right from the beginning we most likely would not follow that path. If I knew from the beginning what I was going to have to go through these past two years to get to where I am now, I am pretty sure I would have said "no thank you". But He doesn't do this, He gently guides us through each step of our lives comforting us and hopefully we grow and become closer to him along the way.

A praise for today: Marcus went to the doctor today to get his results from the CT Scan and everything came back clear!!!! The tumor has not come back! I know he is relieved to have this past him.

Still all messed up!

The doctor situation is still all messed up!!!! I talked with someone at my RE office this morning and they have decided that we need to see this new doctor, that I guess they had forgot we had already seen back in August and he told us that he could not help us. He told us to stay with the doctor that we are already seeing. They thought they had everything figured out and it just makes me furious because I don't know how many times we have told them this is the only way we can do this. This is the only doctor we can use!!!! Please continue to pray for this situation!!! I am so upset right now, and hoping that this will not change my cycle. I just pray that I can get it all worked out today and everyone is comfortable doing what we want them to do. I don't need this stress! It's a good thing I am getting a massage today!

Why can't they all just get along?

I have a prayer request. Everything is still going pretty good, but I kind of had a hard day yesterday. There are a lot of things that I am having to get done and people to follow up with to make sure everything is getting done on time. On top of that Marcus left Sunday for Pittsburgh and will be back on Friday, so it has been very quiet at our house this week. Zoe and I are hanging in there, only one more night by ourselves. Okay to my prayer request, someone from my RE (reproductive endocrinologist) office called yesterday to make sure that I could be reached on my cell phone because my doctor wanted to talk something over with me. So I sat around the house waiting for the call trying to figure out what it could be???? Is my blood work showing something, is Marcus' blood work showing something, is it my calendar, or is it the problem with the doctors working together????? I waited till around 6:30 and then decided to go to church and just have my phone where I could feel it vibrate. She never called, so I figured that it was not anything that major. I got a call from her office in Houston this morning and finally found out what she wanted to talk to me about. It is the two doctors working together, well actually it is the embryologist working with our other doctor. We knew that they didn't like each other, but these doctors are our only chance of us getting a BFP (Big Fat Positive). I still don't know what they have worked out because my RE is the one that has to tell me. Please just pray that they will put aside their problems with each other and make this process go smoothly!

I would die for that

This is for all the husband's and wife's that are dealing with infertility. This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. I read a quote today "to get through the hardest journey we need to take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping!" Here's to one step at a time until we get our little miracle!