Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Waiting is HARD

Update on the infertility side of things:
There are several doctor appointments that we have scheduled and are just waiting until the appointment day comes around. On Monday one of those long and anticipated appointments came around. We went and talked with a new doctor (I will call him Dr. B) in the Clearlake area and at this appointment we were able to get another doctor's point of view on where we stand and what we will have to do. I can say that I was hoping that we would be able to change to Dr. B for our main doctor, but that wasn't the case.

We both really liked him alot and respected his evaluations. It was kind of funny, as soon as he walks in he starts with Nederland jokes, which catches me off guard. Then he finds out that a Port Neches girl married a Nederland guy and even more jokes start. Dr. B was from Port Arthur!!! We went to him because we were strongly encouraged to at least go and talk with this "great" doctor that graduated med school from Harvard and did his residency at Duke, so he came with great credentials. He was very easy to talk to and ask questions, which I have found can be difficult when dealing with specialized "experts". The good news about this appointment was I was able to get some of my questions answered and have a clearer idea on some things that we have been told.

The bad news, because of our rare situation, there will have to be a very laborious and extensive surgery required for us to have a baby. Dr. B doesn't do this surgery and pretty much told us that he could try another surgery but he would just be taking our money from us because it wouldn't work. Wow, he has morals and was very honest with us. There are only a handful of doctors in the Nation that do this surgery. On the bright side, one of the doctors that we have been seeing for months does this surgery (I will call him Dr. L) and is the pioneer at this surgery. The other doctors in the nation that do this surgery were taught by Dr. L. So we are going to the best doctor in the nation for our specific situation!!! I am sure you can imagine how Dr. L acts though....he knows he is the best in the nation and can be very hard to talk to, ask questions and even get an appointment to see him. He is one of the reason why this journey has taken so long.

On next Monday we are going to talk with Dr. L again and get some test results back and more details to the surgery. I don't want to put Dr. L down in any way because I am in awe when I think about the medical advances that he has made in infertility. It is amazing what doctors know these days and I am thankful for this. There is always a possibility that this surgery will not help us in our journey and our next journey will begin with our journey to adopt, but I am not ready to give up hope just yet. I still believe that a miracle can happen.

I get daily devotional email every day and this was part of one of them: "On the surface of your grief, it feels like you're pleading with God, raising your voice in order to get his attention. But he's long been aware of your need. Before your heart has a chance to break, his has already gone out to you. Before your tears have begun their bitter journey, he has wept over you. Though you may not notice him, he's already there. Sitting right beside you. Giving you all you need." This helps me to focus on, God is in control, He knows my every need even before I know there is a need there and He is there comforting me along this journey.

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
Corinthians 4:17-18

1 comment:

sweet jenn said...

You are an incredible encouragement to me. I see you guys and your seemingly strong exterior and then I hear the details of your struggle and I realize that it's not about being strong...it's about waiting and relying on God. Thank you for sharing...know that Ryan and I pray for you and Marcus every single day. I know that whatever happens you guys have a child waiting for you and, WOW...what a blessed little angel he/she will be to have parents like you.