Thursday, January 28, 2010

2009 in Review: Part Two

Vacation #5 (or 6) South Carolina
I never posted anything about our last trip of the year!

We went to the beach but did not get in the water...too cold!
But we walked on the beach and picked up shells

They had tons of putt putt places, so we played putt putt one day
Marcus plays golf, but it rained almost every day. He did not get a chance to play while we were there.

Art in the Park
Local artist had booths in this really nice park! This was from a guy doing metal work.

We had one day that the weather was really nice, so we went to Brookgreen Gardens and walked around all day! It was great just being outside in the sunshine and no rain!

Marcus made fun of my shoes I was wearing-Hiking shoes for the day!

We got caught in the rain one day at a boardwalk that had a Ripley's Aquarium at it so we went to the aquarium.

We also went and walked through some old homes and plantations

Right after South Carolina I had my long awaited surgery!
And you all know the results from that...if not read this post!

We go every year and cut down our our tree

I thought that these were cute and would have used them on our Christmas cards,
you know if I would have sent any out?!?!?!?

For my birthday we went to Galveston to the Festival of Light and just to get away. The Festival of Lights was not what I was expecting...might have been better if I was 20 years younger!

Friday, January 22, 2010

2009 in Review: Part One

Started with high hope with our FET #1

and then ended very quickly with a negative.
God was just beginning to polish out my rough edges

 We got a new protocol…I will take Lovenox with FET #2 and also have laparoscopy surgery.

 We were forced to move up the bathroom redo with a broken pipe in the wall!

It was finished in April!

We got great news…surgery is scheduled and our insurance will cover it!

 Was just the beginning of my many trips! Vacation #2 Gulf Shores…

God was saying not yet…more waiting…more polishing!
Just relax and I am going to pour out the blessing upon you!

Vacation #3 Conroe

Vacation #4 Natchez

Vacation #4 1/2 (or 5) Houston Sports Trip

To be continued with Vacation #6 and the holidays!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Sharing in their Joy!

Today I was able to share in their joy...
Birth Announcements, Baby Showers, Births....all usually hard for an IF person!
Our really good friends had their baby today! I know from reading other IF blogs that this is hard for most to be able to do. But today I was able to share in their JOY! Probably a year ago I would not have been able to do this day without tears, but today I was actually happy and giddy that our friends had their baby! Maybe it is where we are in this process...with this up coming cycle I am full of hope...happy and giddy about this cycle. Maybe it is because they are like family to us. I can't wait to see them again and hold the baby! I am not even going to think about them leaving us!?!?! Yes, they are going to move, whenever God places them in a church, they will leave us. Until then I will have to soak up all I can get. I mean how can I not want to be around a new born baby...that is what we have been trying for, for over 3 years! Congratulations to the Tucker family on their new addition!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Couldn't have said it any better!

"Couples experiencing infertility often receive well-meaning but extremely insensitive "advice." We can all list the most popular ones; "just relax and you'll get pregnant," or "adopt and you'll get pregnant," or "why can't you just be happy with what you have," or the most painful from the ones who seem to have the good on God's plan; "maybe God never meant for you to have children." The sheer audacity of making a statement like that never ceases to amaze me. These same people would never walk up to someone with cancer and say, "maybe God never meant for you to live." However since I am infertile, I am supposed to get on with my life.It is hard to understand why people cannot see infertility for what it is: a disease for which I have the right to seek treatment. What if doctors said to the parents of polio victims, "Maybe God meant for thousands of children to be cripples, live in iron lungs or die." What if they never tried to find a cure? Who could think for one minute that was God's plan? Why do I think God gave me infertility? I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up each time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, and to create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility. No, God never meant for me NOT to have children. That is not my destiny, that is just a fork in the road I am on. I have been placed on the road less traveled, and like it or not, I am a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and have greater inner strength on this journey to resolution and I haven't let him down. Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God singled me out for special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and deep that when the baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest most refreshing drink I have ever known. While I would never have chosen infertility, I cannot deny that a fertile woman could never experience the joy that I know awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And, the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice, I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when he handed me infertility, I already know." ~Anon.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Hoping & Bracing

Hoping: to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence.

Bracing: to summon up one's courage; to tighten, clasp, strengthen, or fortify.

These were the topics in the past two sections in my devotional Longing For a Child. The exact emotions I am going through right now. I am hoping that this next cycle with have positive results but I am also bracing to be curled up in a ball bawling my eyes out with a negative. I know I need to stay positive and I can say that the past few days the negative thoughts are tucked way back in my mind. I know I have been quiet on here and not doing very many updates. I am dealing with a flood of emotions and am trying to get my head on straight.

My times are in your hands. (Psalm 31:15a)

Lord, I feel as if hope is my enemy. My past disappointments and my future fears are stealing my joy. The battle within my soul rages on. Help me, Lord! Help me see that you are the joy that gives me strength-strength to celebrate a small, or large, victory. You are my Hope. I surrender my disappointments and fears to you today. Fill me with faith, hope, and love. Today, I choose to trust you and hope again. Thank you, Lord! Amen.