Thursday, November 17, 2011

On the Night You Were Born

On the night you were born,
the moon smiled with such wonder
that the stars peeked in to see you
and the night wind whispered,
"Life will never be the same."

Because there had never been anyone like you...
ever in the world.

So enchanted with you were the wind and the rain
that they whispered the sound of your wonderful name.
The sound of your name is a magical one.
Let's say it out loud before we go on.

It sailed through the farmland
high on the breeze...

Over the ocean...

And through the trees...

Until everyone heard it
and everyone knew
of the one and only ever you.

Not once had there been such eyes,
such a nose,
such silly, wiggly, wonderful toes.

In fact, I think I'll count to three
so you can wiggle your toes for me.

When the polar bears heard,
they danced until dawn.

From faraway places,
the geese flew home.

The moon stayed up until
morning next day.

And none of the ladybugs flew away.

So whenever you doubt just how special you are
and you wonder who loves you, how much and how far,
listen for geese honking high in the sky.
(They're singing a song to remember you by.)

Or notice the bears asleep at the zoo.
(It's because they've been dancing all night for you!)

Or drift off to sleep to the sound of the wind.
(Listen's whispering your name again!)

If the moon stays up until morning one day,
or a ladybug lands and decides to stay,
or a little bird sits at your window awhile,
it's because they're all hoping to see you smile...

For never before in story or rhyme
(not even once upon a time)
has the world ever known a you, my friend,
and it never will, not ever again...

Heaven blew every trumpet
and played every horn
on the wonderful, marvelous
night you were born.
                                Nancy Tillman

Thursday, October 27, 2011

She's One!!!

We made it…the first year is over! Wow it flew by so fast! It was just twelve months ago when I met Maielle James, we were strangers and now we are inseparable! In the past year we have had many laughs, some tears, many lost hours of sleep and tons of sweet, sweet kisses and cuddle times (some at 3 am)! Our life without Maielle seems like a distant memory and yet it was only twelve months ago! A smile comes over me when I think of all the things we have gone through in the past year and I am also sad to think her first year is already over! I can’t wait to see what is to come!

Her birthday had an owl theme and I think everything turned out really cute! My sister and I made her birthday cakes and they were precious!
The Invitation
Owl Cupcakes
Smash Cake for Maielle
 The second Owl Cake for everyone else to eat
The Birthday Girl...outfit made by my mom! 
Her head piece inspired the entire outfit
 She was hesitant at first with the cake but as soon as she tasted the icing she dove right in!
Maielle had a great party and I enjoyed watching her enjoy her party! She was a perfect little birthday girl!

Friday, October 14, 2011

Olives on the plane!

Our trip to Utah went great! I could not have asked for a better trip! Except for Maielle waking up with a fever of 101 the day of the wedding!

I bought a bag for Maielle's car seat and for her stroller and gate checked both of them. They did not get messed up and I had no problems gate checking them. The trip over there I was so worried about how Maielle would do on the plane. She did great! We had two flights going to Utah and two flights coming home! The first flight was only 20 minutes, but I would say this was worse than the 3 hour flight. We were on a very small plane that was hot! The second flight Maielle slept for half of the flight and then she played for the rest of the flight! She was excellent! Everyone commented on how well she traveled! I am blessed with a good little traveler! The wedding was beautiful! Maielle was great even though I could tell she did not feel well. We were not able to really sight see much. On Friday we drove into the mountains to go to the Rehearsal dinner. It was a pretty drive, but I did not feel well that night so I was not able to enjoy it that much. Even though Maielle & I were sick, overall it was a good, SHORT trip!

We had an experience on the way home that we will never forget! My mom changed Maielle diaper in the car right before heading to the airport and I remembered saying that it looked a little loose but we left it because we were in a hurry! We got to the airport, checked in and were sent to the front of the security line because we were late and had a baby with us! So we got on the plane…Maielle fell asleep…we ordered an appetizer to eat (olives, hummus, crackers, and almonds)…Maielle woke up and went to sit on my moms lap. While sitting on my moms lap, I saw the poop face! I just thought that this is going to be an experience changing a diaper in the airplane restroom. We continued eating and my mom felt something drop in her lap….sooooo she reached down to get what she thought was an olive. She picked the “olive” up and handed it to me…I looked down and saw that she was trying to hand me a piece of poop! I was laughing so hard, tears were going down my face! I took the “olive”, grabbed extra clothes for Maielle and rushed to the bathroom with her. My mom’s shirt & Maielle were covered in poop. Luckily my mom had a jacket so she just took her shirt off and zipped her jacket up. It was an experience trying to change Maielle’s clothes & diaper in the airplane restroom. Needless to say…we did not finish the rest of our appetizer!

Friday, September 16, 2011


We all go through different seasons of life. Right now I feel I am in a transition season. I am trying to figure out how to be the super wife & super mom all at the same time. Throw working full time in the mix and there is no time to breath sometimes...let alone have a regular quiet time! So, yes I am trying to do it all...cloth diaper, make my own baby food, teach Maielle the skills she needs to learn, keep the new house clean, cook dinner most nights, make sure Maielle gets to spend time with family, give my husband the time I should & want....the list could keep on going! So as you see there is no time to just sit on the sofa and relax! How do I do it all? I feel I am running around like a crazy person from 7am to 11 pm! I need to make time for myself...I need to get back to having a regular quiet time! I feel drained and want to feel revived!

On another subject Maielle and I will be taking a trip next weekend without Marcus. Marcus has to stay behind and work (honestly he hates to fly so he will think of any reason to get out of flying if he can). I will be flying for the first time with Maielle. I would be lying if I said that I am not nervous about this trip! What if she hates flying? What if my stroller gets messed up while checking it at the gate? Those of you that have flown with a baby...did you bring your car seat and stroller combo? I ordered a bag to put both the car seat & stroller in when I gate check them. I am going to try to BF Maielle during take off and while landing or at least have her paci in her mouth. We will be taking 4 flights total! I will take any suggestions of things I need to make sure I bring or things I need to remember to pack!!! Please help!

Monday, August 29, 2011


Maielle is here for me to hold in my arms!

Yes my miracle is here. I can touch her, cuddle her, and feel her sweet breath on my cheek. In some ways the nightmare of infertility is over. I woke up and all that was, was just a bad dream. And a lot of others view it that way. Granted I am no longer part of the struggle. But, I WILL go through that struggle again. There are future baby plans.

Have I left infertility behind, though, since I have my miracle little girl?

Will I always be known as infertile, will this always be apart of me?

Yes, I am and will be forever changed. At the same time, however, the friends that left me in the dust while infertile now welcome me into their circle of parenthood advice. I now have my golden ticket into their club.

So have I left infertility behind? Yes and no.

So yes, I have left infertility behind…I can look at my little miracle every day in amazement, I am on the other side of the dream, enjoying every second.

But no, I am still there…when my doctor asks what form of birth control we are using…I just laugh and say none! We had to have many surgeries, many procedures, IVF and it wasn't until our third attempt that we got pregnant.

It’s the experience that has changed us. It is our experience that remains with us. And I know that I am different, set apart for having a success story, I also know that I will never be the same!

I’m not sure if it’s me who can’t leave infertility behind, or infertility that cannot leave me? Infertility will forever be intertwined with this family of ours.

It keeps me grateful.
It keeps me trusting.
It keeps me praising.
It keeps me…me!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

NINE, 2700sqft, Guilty!

We now have a NINE month little girl! She started officially crawling right before nine months. I say she officially started then because a month before she was getting around just not on her hands and knees and moving forward. I have started planning her first birthday and I am very excited to have it in our new house! Maielle has still not been sleeping at night and she seemed to be getting worse. She would wake up and stay awake for 2 hours with us trying everything to get her back to sleep. So last night we decided to let her cry it out! I felt horrible listening to her scream and wanted to run in there and scoop her up and cuddle with her, but I was going to stick it out and see if this would work. She screamed for exactly 30 minutes and then just all of a sudden there was silence! Is she ok? Did she fall asleep? Marcus seemed to be even more worried than I was, so he snuck in there to check on her and she was passed out asleep!!! AND SHE SLEPT ALL NIGHT LONG!!!! So maybe there is something to the Cry It Out Method?!?!??! She also was still her sweet little self this morning when I went in there and she was not mad at me for abandoning her!

We have a contract on a house and hope to close this month! Our house still hasn't sold so if you know anyone please send them our way! We hope to not have to carry two house notes for too long! I am very excited to move into our new house. It is 4 bedrooms, 2 1/2 baths and is 2,700 square we are moving to a house that is more than twice the size of the house we are currently in! That also means we need more furniture. Marcus & I have had fun so far shopping for new stuff!!!

The guy that robbed me while at work...plead GUILY yesterday! So that meant no testifying and no trial! The sentencing will be in September, so that is when we will find out how long he will go to jail for!

We just got back from a vacation with Marcus' family in Canyon Lake and it was a very relaxing vacation. It was hard to come back to work after being off for a whole week. We were worried how Maielle would do in the car for 5 hours but she did great! She slept alot!!! And only got fussy once and it was because she was hungry. I fed her and she fell back asleep! So more trips please, because we have a good traveler! Next month Maielle & I will be flying to Utah...without Marcus...I hope she does well while flying! We will see!

Thursday, June 23, 2011


Our first 8 months of parenthood have been great, learning every day and just when we think we have something figured out, she changes things up on us! She sleeps, she doesn't sleep, she wakes up just once a night, so we are still going up and down with her sleeping! We all think she is teething now...we can see two little white lines on her bottom gums for about two weeks now but nothing has broken through yet?!?!?!? So who knows, maybe she will be like her daddy and get teeth very late!

I am having trouble with CD at night. The CD's I have are Bum Genius & Gro Via. I have tried both and they both are leaking at night. I put two soakers in the Bum Genius and she leaked through so I put three soakers in and she still leaked through! She sleeps on her stomach (I know she should sleep on her back but if I put her on her back she flips to her stomach) and she wakes up in the middle of the night with her stomach all wet! I also tried the Gro Via single insert and also double inserts and she leaks through! So those of you that CD....please let me know what CD you use at night and your tricks because I am still trying to figure things out!

Marcus & I left Maielle for the first time! We went to Galveston for an overnight trip for our anniversary and we had a great time!!!! We relaxed on the beach, had a great dinner, and walked around and shopped! Overall a very nice get away! I am ready for a real vacation though! We are going on vacation with Marcus's family in a few weeks and I am very excited!

So there you have it...a short catch up on what has been going on around here! Loving parenthood and needing a good vacation away from work!

Friday, May 6, 2011

My 1st pictures!

Good Friday we had a crawfish boil and I didn't have my camera so I don't have any pictures from that.
But here are a few from Easter Sunday!
Dressed for Easter Sunday!
We had breakfast Sunday morning with Maielle's great grandmother! Then headed to church!
 Maielle got a pair of sunglasses from both of her grandparents!

She will have to grow into these...until then she will go for the Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen look with her over sized sunglasses and over sized bows!
Maielle also got a bathing suit and swim cap from my parents...they just got a pool! 
Maielle had to get a chocolate bunny in her Easter basket...this is a stuffed bunny that smells like chocolate! 
We had a great 1st Easter with Maielle and look forward to many more holidays with her!

Saturday, April 30, 2011

We have an answer!

I finally got an answer as to what has been going on with my arm!!! I think everyone was questioning my dermatologist, but I knew all along my arm just was not right. Soooo I kept going back to her and after she cut my arm open and took the entire thing out....we finally have an answer!!!! Here is a description as to what it was...

Pyogenic Granuloma is a disease described as little ugly bump like of skin tissues. It seems that raw meat pieces coming out of skin. It is a benign type vascular lesion of the skin whose cause is not known. The surface Pyogenic Granulomas has a raspberry like or we can say raw meat like look. They disease can cause severe problems of discomfort and profuse bleeding. It can happen to adults as well as children. More females are affected than males. During the first three to four months of pregnancy it happen to pregnant mothers. The growth of skin is highly inflamed and red. Sometime some lacerations are found on the meaty skin bump. Our face and feet are generally affected by these bumps. Even just slight even movement or contact causes bleeding in it. We are not able to find exact cause that causes it. But it has seen that skin disease is caused by some skin disorder or injury .It grows very fast and rapidly after some days of injury and grows to half an inch size.

I am just glad that it is on my arm and not my face!!! So now treatment continues and I am comfortable with everything we are doing to treat it. I will be on meds for the next 6 weeks and I have double checked with my dermatologist and also Maielle's doctor that it is okay for me to take the meds and breastfeed! Everyone is comfortable so we continue on with treatment and a cure!!!!

Friday, April 29, 2011

Sneak Peak!

Here is a sneak peak of Maielle's 6 month pictures! I can't wait to see them all!!!

Thursday, April 21, 2011


So my life is filled with issues these days!

So Maielle was sleeping through the night and it seems like every time I brag on her she decides that she is going to go back to waking up every three hours! This has been a bad week on soooo many levels. I don't know what to do? When she does wake up she will not go back to sleep unless I BF her. I know that I should not do this but this is the problem that we have. If Marcus tries to put her back to sleep, she screams because she knows she is not going to get fed! We have thrown back and forth the cry it out method, but I know that this will cause even less sleep than what I am getting. She has soothed her self back to sleep several times, so I know she knows how to. And how do I know that she is not waking because she doesn't feel good or something else is wrong...and making her cry it out just seems cruel to me???? Can you tell that I have over thought this sleep problem we have?!?!? She could be teething because she shows all the signs of teething but nothing has popped through yet and by now something should have come through! So here we parents...figuring things out as they come...trying to do the best for our little girl! Any advice is welcomed because I know there are a lot of you out there that have been there, done that!!!!

On top of our sleep issues is this problem with my arm!!!! If you follow me on Twitter then you know everything that I have been going through with this! I had to go back to the dermatologist on Monday to finally get it cut out! We have been trying to treat this for a year now and it was not getting any better so she had to finally cut the entire area out! If I had known how bad this was going to be, I would have put it off until I would have more help (my mom just had surgery so she is not able to help me out). I am not suppose to use my right arm, which is very difficult working and just every day living! Throw in a 6mth old to the mix and that makes it even more difficult! Maielle has been spending a lot of time with her Great Grandmother, Mimi! Then on Tuesday evening my arm started swelling, itching and was very hot! So I was back at the doctor Wednesday morning diagnosed with a skin infection! So I am now trying to heal a 2" cut in my arm and a skin infection! It is much better after just one day of antibiotics.

I started Maielle on solids a couple weeks ago, because she was showing all signs of being ready. So at 5 1/2 months she started eating some solids! I started with pears, since she had such a problem with rice cereal. So our other issue is that she is still not going to the bathroom like she should. I started with pears because they should be good for constipation. So far she has tried pears, bananas, & avocado. She loves them all, but it was funny at the beginning getting her use to solids. Here are a few pictures from her first taste of solids!


Other issues to come later on...
Having a regular quiet time with a baby and sleep deprivation
Facing the guy in court that held my dad and I up at gunpoint
Selling our house and moving

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Update on our 5 mth old!

There are so many things going on...where do I start?

We are some point hopefully before Maielle's 1st birthday (that is my goal, to be able to have her 1st birthday in our new house)!!! We have been looking at houses in our area for a few months now and we have narrowed it down to a few options. One of those options is building a house. I never thought we would be in the place to be able to afford to build but after crunching the numbers that is an option! This is so hard to decide! We have been touching up the paint inside our house and Marcus has been doing some work to the outside to get it ready to sale! So if anyone knows of anyone looking for a great starter home...ours is for sale! It is two bedrooms and one bath, with an extra room in the back that use to be the third bedroom. It is around 1300 square feet! I am hoping that we can sale it fast!!!!

I had to take Maielle to the doctor two days before her scheduled well visit because she woke up coughing real bad and congested! Then two days later we were back at the doctor for her 4 month checkup! So we had a week of going to the doctor, because I caught her cold and had to go to the doctor! We are all well now and enjoying our almost 5 month old little girl! The doctor told me not to start her on solids until 6 months, so I am happy about that! She is doing great on just breast milk, growing perfectly! She is also sleeping great! At almost exactly 4 months she started sleeping through the night, waking once to eat and going straight back to sleep. Since then she has slept through the night without waking at all to eat! So I don't think she needs solids to sleep! We are all doing great and loving spending each day with her.

I keep finding myself thinking of our other embryos waiting for us. I don't know when we will do another FET, but I do know it will be awhile from now! Until that day, I will wait and think about them often! I love Maielle so much and I want her to have a sibling!

I will leave you with a picture of Maielle hanging out at her Gamma's & Papa house!
She is growing so much and time is going by way too fast! I can't believe we already have a 5 month old (next week)! 

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Almost 4 mths!

Our almost 4 month old little girl!
She has changed so much over these past few months! Maielle is now talking so much...she has discovered how to yell! She has had a couple of colds over the past few months and I have discovered how much fun it is to have a sick baby! It is hard when there is nothing you can really do to comfort her. She will give me a few nights of sleeping through the night then she will go back to waking up every 3 hours. So we are still working on sleeping through the night!!! I guess she is about to start with some solids, since my doctor starts babies on solids at 4 months. I gave her a little rice cereal a few weeks ago and after that she did not poop for 3 1/2 days and she did not sleep any better! I am thinking about maybe trying barley or oats instead of rice...I will of course ask her doctor to see what he thinks. Anyone else have these problems after starting solids?
Maielle is so aware of things around her. She has discovered Zoe and grabs at her face when Zoe runs up to her. They are so cute...Zoe is always having to find Maielle and would sleep in her room if we would let her. Maielle is now laughing which is the best sound ever!!! She also rolled over a few weeks before 3 months but since then she hasn't done it any more?!?!?
I have now been back to work about a month and half and today is the first day that I feel caught up! It is a little hard working with Maielle, but I would not change it! I am so happy that I am able to bring my baby with me to work. When she falls asleep I go crazy getting as much work done as I can! Well I here her calling for me...I will try and blog a little more...but don't count on an every day post!

Friday, January 7, 2011

Back to Work!

This week was my first week back at work! I am very lucky to be able to bring Maielle to work with me!!! It has been really hard to get out of bed every morning and get both of us dressed and to work on time. I think we have done pretty well though. Some days Maielle doesn't get dressed until we get to work because she is still sleeping and I don't want to wake her to get her dressed. I am getting some work done...just a little slower with a baby here.
Maielle is doing great! At her last appointment she weighed 11lbs 2oz and had grown 3" already! She is growing too fast! I love this stage with her! She is cooing, smiling and love to cuddle! She sleeps pretty well. She has been waking only once in the middle of the night to eat, but every now and then she will throw in a night to where she wants to eat every 3 hours. She is still sleeping in her cradle beside my bed, but this weekend we are going to try and move her to her crib!
Breastfeeding is still going great and I have started cloth diapering!!! I just ordered some more diapers because I didn't have enough. So I am very excited to get those in and cloth diaper most of the time! I am glad that I decided to CD because I have found that Maielle is allergic to most disposables! I have also had to alter my diet. Maielle has a milk protein allergy so I am not able to eat or drink anything with milk in it. It is very hard to remember to not eat things with milk.
The holidays were nice and she got lots of stuff!!! We are going this afternoon to look at a bigger house, because we are growing out of our house!!!
Well that is about everything that is going on in our world. As you can tell, blogging has taken a back seat to motherhood!