Maielle is here for me to hold in my arms!
Yes my miracle is here. I can touch her, cuddle her, and feel her sweet breath on my cheek. In some ways the nightmare of infertility is over. I woke up and all that was, was just a bad dream. And a lot of others view it that way. Granted I am no longer part of the struggle. But, I WILL go through that struggle again. There are future baby plans.
Have I left infertility behind, though, since I have my miracle little girl?
Will I always be known as infertile, will this always be apart of me?
Yes, I am and will be forever changed. At the same time, however, the friends that left me in the dust while infertile now welcome me into their circle of parenthood advice. I now have my golden ticket into their club.
So have I left infertility behind? Yes and no.
So yes, I have left infertility behind…I can look at my little miracle every day in amazement, I am on the other side of the dream, enjoying every second.
But no, I am still there…when my doctor asks what form of birth control we are using…I just laugh and say none! We had to have many surgeries, many procedures, IVF and it wasn't until our third attempt that we got pregnant.
It’s the experience that has changed us. It is our experience that remains with us. And I know that I am different, set apart for having a success story, I also know that I will never be the same!
I’m not sure if it’s me who can’t leave infertility behind, or infertility that cannot leave me? Infertility will forever be intertwined with this family of ours.
It keeps me grateful.
It keeps me trusting.
It keeps me praising.
It keeps me…me!
3 comments:
Great post...glad to hear that you are thoroughly enjoying your little blessing!
You are right that this will always be part of you. And, just so you are prepared, you'll probably go through different emotions when you are going through fertility the second time around. There were times that I even felt guilty for wanting another child when I already had one healthy, beautiful girl.
Thanks for updating your blog. It's great to be able to "keep up" with your family...even though we are living in Kansas now!
Great post...glad to hear that you are thoroughly enjoying your little blessing!
You are right that this will always be part of you. And, just so you are prepared, you'll probably go through different emotions when you are going through fertility the second time around. There were times that I even felt guilty for wanting another child when I already had one healthy, beautiful girl.
Thanks for updating your blog. It's great to be able to "keep up" with your family...even though we are living in Kansas now!
Awesome post! You took several words right out of my mouth. Don't feel alone infertile is part of me still to this day also. It's for sure something thats made me who I am today. Love you girl!
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