Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Storms of Life

Is faith, is growth going to be real in my life? All of a sudden I was put in a place where all I had read, studied & believed was put to a test. I was am in a storm. It was sudden, unexpected, and stressful. It all started with the word cancer and went onto the word infertility. We don't like the storms of life but God has a plan and in his plan he will work to grow us.

I have been reading through Mark and when I came to Mark 4:35-41, Jesus Calms the Storm; I got so much more out of it than when I have read it in the past.

Jesus put them in the middle of the storm to see how they would react, to see if they had faith. Following Jesus will put me in uncomfortable places to grow me. I don't need to blame God for the storms of life, I need to ask him how he can grow me in the storm and give me hope to see that there is an end. Jesus also cares for me in the midst of the storm. He hears my anxiety and responds to it. He has the power to make a difference. He might not take me out of this storm when I want him to or as I want him to, but he always makes a difference. He has given me the power of hope. I know my fear is what has kept me from releasing everything to him and giving him total control. I have to let go of my fear daily and give him total control. I have to let go of my plan for my life and jump into the life God has for me. God does have an amazing plan for my life! I don't want to ever lose my sense of awe of who Jesus is and what he can do in my life. Only Jesus can grow my character through a problem and give me hope in the darkest of days. Only He can do that! In Mark the disciples said "Who is this?", they were in awe of Jesus. I don't want to ever get familiar with that, I always want to have that sense of awe. That awe is a deep part of my growth in my every day life. My prayer is to allow God to grow me step by step, day by day.

I love the lyrics in "By Your Side" from the band Tenth Avenue North. I just added it to my playlist, so you are probably listening to it right now.

"Cause I'll be by your side, whenever you fall,

in the dead of night, whenever you call,

please don't fight these hands that are holding you,

my hands are holding you."

The basic message is you are not alone, love is here, open your heart and accept it. I don't want to fight the hands that are holding me. Those hands are strong hands, loving hands, hands full of mercy, grace and of hope.

2 comments:

sweet jenn said...

Thanks for this post...very encouraging.

Jordi said...

your words are so encouraging. I so needed my eyes open to this, you are so right. Im seriously ready to give up, my grades are already showing that, and i really dont know how much longer i can go with staying at my brother, im to the point where i dont even want to call him my brother. In me staying here i KNOW God is testing me, and to be honest with you, im failing, i have failed. I know he is not happy by my actions and words, but its like i cant control it anymore, its not me, i try so hard not to say anything rude but its gotten to the point where it just comes out and now im starting not to even care, likes its fun or something.
When i use to feel so bad and have to apologize ten minutes later. I dont get it. My solution is to just leave but
now they wont let me when a year ago they didnt hesitate
to kick me out and get me kicked off varsity, but now that
im getting money and they are in control of it they wont let
me leave.! I have a place to go and eveything, as a matter
of fact all my things are over there, i had my own room and
bathroom, it was great over there, it was one of my
teachers from middle school. She turned her computer
room into me a room and took me to Port Arthur to get my
things, here i dont have a third of my things and im living
out of my suitcase, im grounded from closing my door, and
the top and most favorite punishmeant is grounding me
from church! I just got back from a big trip, was there "hey jordi how was you trip? Fun?" No!!!! It was not a word!! Thats how it always is! Mrs. Garrett always told me to have
a good day and her and her husband both asked how my day went. It was great over there, something i never had, a
family, a normal life, but no jason and his wife had to ruin
it. They have told me that they hate me living here but they
make me stay?!? What am i supposed to do? I know you
have problems of your own but i really just need to talk.
You dont have to respond back, i will totally understand. I
did think i could tell you that your post is very encouraging. Take care, have a great week!!!
-Jordi