Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Couldn't have said it any better!

"Couples experiencing infertility often receive well-meaning but extremely insensitive "advice." We can all list the most popular ones; "just relax and you'll get pregnant," or "adopt and you'll get pregnant," or "why can't you just be happy with what you have," or the most painful from the ones who seem to have the good on God's plan; "maybe God never meant for you to have children." The sheer audacity of making a statement like that never ceases to amaze me. These same people would never walk up to someone with cancer and say, "maybe God never meant for you to live." However since I am infertile, I am supposed to get on with my life.It is hard to understand why people cannot see infertility for what it is: a disease for which I have the right to seek treatment. What if doctors said to the parents of polio victims, "Maybe God meant for thousands of children to be cripples, live in iron lungs or die." What if they never tried to find a cure? Who could think for one minute that was God's plan? Why do I think God gave me infertility? I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up each time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, and to create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility. No, God never meant for me NOT to have children. That is not my destiny, that is just a fork in the road I am on. I have been placed on the road less traveled, and like it or not, I am a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and have greater inner strength on this journey to resolution and I haven't let him down. Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God singled me out for special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and deep that when the baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest most refreshing drink I have ever known. While I would never have chosen infertility, I cannot deny that a fertile woman could never experience the joy that I know awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And, the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice, I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when he handed me infertility, I already know." ~Anon.

4 comments:

The Dorns said...

LOVE it! Never give up, Im still rooting for you tobe a mommy. I really really REALLY never thought it was going to work, even today I still say I can't believe I am a mom like it hasn't sunk in yet and its been 8 months. Keep trying everything, exhaust all options and you WILL be a mom. If anything God would not "punish" a woman by ot allowing her to experience motherhood. Thats how I felt when I was going through infertility.

Theresa Walker said...

What a wonderfully-written statement. I fully agree with the part that moms that have never gone through fertility issues don't feel quite the same when they are handed their babies for the first time. I'm glad that God allowed Nick and I to go through what we have, and I pray that He provides you with the desires of your heart someday too!

The Gary's said...

Perfectly said, I am thinking and praying for you, it WILL happen! I understand everything in this wonderful post, keep your head up!

Linda said...

I admire your determination, your steadfast faith in God. Somewhere along my own path, I lost that closeness with God. But He never gave up on me. I will always be grateful for all my blessings, even though I may not recognize some things as blessings. This is a great post. Thanks for sharing.