Don't know what happened?

Update #2: As you can tell I am still playing around with headers and colors... I probably should just get someone else to design this for me but I am trying to save money and no extra expenses right now!

Update: Still working on my blog...not sure if I like the new change....I guess we will see.

Sorry for the ugly blog page....blogger has blocked out all of my pictures for some reason. I have fixed a few but my blog is still under construction. Please......still enjoy reading!

Vacation #4!

Vacation #4 for the Summer = Girl's Weekend in Natchez, MS!

I had a great time in Natchez. This was my first time to go to Natchez and I loved seeing all the architecture and culture that was there.

It tested me on my Architectural History and I have to say that I failed. It is amazing what you can forget in just a few years if you never use it. But I digress...back on to the trip.

The Bed and Breakfast that we stayed at was great and we had an amazing breakfast each morning!!! I wish I had their recipes to cook at home because I love eating a big breakfast.

We did tour a cemetery the first day and I will have to say that it was interesting and amazing how old the graves were. Some people in our group enjoyed it a lot more than others and some were just fine viewing everything from inside the car.

We, of course, ate some really great food and would go back just to eat some of the dishes over again. If you haven't caught on by now...I love to eat great southern food????

Over all a GREAT trip and sad to say Vacation #4 is over.

If you don't follow me on Twitter then you probably don't know that we have planned Vacation #5!!!! Marcus and I are going to Myrtle Beach, SC. We are very excited to be able to take this trip and very grateful for some generous gifts to make this trip happen!!!!

Have I mentioned

Have I mentioned that I am blessed? Despite having a crummy week at work and still fighting infertility, I still feel extremely blessed! I have an amazing husband, an amazing family, a good and flexible job, an amazing church family and an even more amazing and awesome God!!!

Sometimes it is just good to remind yourself of all the good things you have in your life!

This list could go on, but I need to get back to work since I am taking off on Friday!

Who I Am!

I was listening to the radio on my way home from work yesterday and they asked the question, Who are we or to make it more personal, Who am I? Who are we other than just general information, like our name? What encompasses who we are? I think this is a hard question to answer and requires an unending amount of thought. Well, I am going to try and answer this question to give you a deeper look at...

Who I Am!

I am throw your head back and have a good laugh....as much as possible!!!!

I am a child of God!

A devoted wife, daughter, sister, granddaughter, friend

I love spending time with family and friends

A lover of the arts...I love studying art, going to museums, creating art (even though it might not be any good), and seeing plays

Lover of music and dancing...just don't have rhythm and can't sing

Curly haired girl that spends hours straightening it

I have a degree in Interior Design, but I do not practice professionally

I work for family

Blog and tweet when having a slow day at work or just whenever something pops in my head

I love taking trips

Hate taking naps...almost always guaranteed to wake up in a bad mood

Needer of sleep...prefer 8 hours a night (I know this will change when a baby comes in the picture)

Love playing games

Love fashion and buying shoes

I love the outdoors...hiking, backpacking, picnicking, the beach, the woods...just being outside!

Former anal retentive person and have learned to let some things go...with the help of my husband

Played sports throughout High School...volleyball and softball

Love fixing up old homes and would love to flip homes for a living

Lover

Competitor

Independent

Strong willed

Passionate

Struggling, fighting, changing with Infertility

*Not a complete list but hopefully this will give you a better idea of Who I AM!

Where's my happy bubble?

We still haven't heard anything back from our insurance company about my surgery coverage, so we still are waiting!!! I have been thinking about when we finally get to do the next transfer, (you know when our insurance finally gets back to us and I finally have the surgery and it is finally time for FET #2) if I will blog about it or tell people???? I have been going back and forth about what I want to do and my mind will probably not be made up until that time comes around again. Do I want to go through this next step with just Marcus and I (and prob our families since I work for family and will not be able to keep it from them) or blog and share like I always have? I am really on the fence about this? On some level this would give us more privacy and we would be able to share when we feel like it is time and on another y'all have been our support group throughout all of this and have been praying along with us. Who knows what I will do????


Today was going great and then all of a sudden I am hit with sadness. Unexpected sadness that I don't want to have but it is there. Why???? I don't want to be sad, I want to be happy! I live in a world that is coming at me constantly with all kinds of emotions. Why do I let these things get to me? This should make me happy but I am sad and want to cry. It seems like when I think I am doing great and all is well...that is when I am hit with the sadness. Sometimes I wish these things would just fade away and I could live in my little happy bubble, but I have to endure and enduring is what I am doing. Today I am asking, why am I still on this roller coaster? I am tired, nauseous and sad. I want to get off!!!! But I know for some reason it is not my time to get off! I have to keep riding, going up some days, then down other days and some days I feel like I am spinning out of control, but I am on the ride of infertility and enduring all the loopy loops in hope that one day I will get off of this ride. Sorry for such gloomy post but that is what I am feeling today...sadness.

Anything but Commonplace

You there with the rounded belly;
Talking on your cell phone and dragging your toddler along behind you, his arm twisting, losing his step trying to keep up with you, while your attention is focused on your conversation, your plans, your business, your new pair of shoes.
Please be mindful of the miracle.

You there in the grocery store line;
Digging in your purse and writing your check while you scream at your child that you wish she were never born, slapping her haphazardly on her arm, her leg, her bottom while she reaches for packets of candy bars and mint flavored gum.
Please be mindful of the miracle.

For 80-something percent of the population, getting pregnant is a mindless act that happens on accident, on purpose, and accidentally on purpose. There is not always thought, or consideration beforehand. Pregnancy may be a surprise, a shock, a regret. It may be a blessing, a plan, or a mistake. It is merely a state of being that a large number of women are in every minute of every day. It is. It simply is.

Maybe it was a one-night stand, a fling, a short-term relationship. Maybe it was an accident, a broken condom, or a forgotten pill. Maybe you didn’t want this, or maybe you made it happen. Many women spend a large portion of their lives trying to prevent pregnancy from occurring. It becomes a condition to be avoided, yet sometimes the plans are thwarted. It happens anyway.

Maybe you planned it this way. You met. You fell in love. You married. You bought a house with four bedrooms. You filled them quickly. There was no effort, no calculating, no saving. You feel blessed. You feel grateful. You have the family you always wanted. It happened. It happens to everyone. It’s easy. There is no fuss. These are dreams that come true. They do.

For 80-something percent of the population, getting pregnant is a mindless act. Whether it was planned or on accident, it simply is. It is a state of being. It is commonplace. It is normal. Egg and sperm find each other without needles and labs and pills and assistance. Ovulation is not inducted or detected. Intercourse is not timed or planned. Pregnancy without surgery—it happens.

And while I don’t expect every pregnant woman in the universe to twirl around in a circle of happiness and gratitude, spreading fertile joy to the world—I am mindful of the miracle. While pregnancy may be an ordinary, humdrum, everyday condition to some, it is not to me. My perspective is forever changed.

For a percentage of the population, pregnancy will never be commonplace. It will never be unplanned. It will never be no fuss, no muss. If it ever happens, it will be a carefully executed symphony of intention; a purposeful pre-arranged plot carried out over endless weeks. The mind shift this process creates will perpetually alter your point of view.

Please be mindful of your miracle. Miracles don’t happen every day; and they are anything but commonplace.

*Taken from Fertility Authority