Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Day 10 of 15

Today is my first day back at work since my transfer!!! I was able to take off 9 days to just relax and do nothing at all!!!! I guess that is a BIG positive to working for family. I gladly took those days off to just take it easy and make sure that I took care of my body as much as I could. For some reason I am more nervous this time around than the first time. I am just very aware of every ache and pain and they make me scared this time around. I do feel a lot different this time around, not any better, but different. I still am having some of the side effects of the medicines and other aches and pains that make me want to just lie down and not move. I am still limited to not lifting anything over 5lb (which is everything), walking slowly, no cooking, no cleaning, no baths, no walking up and down stairs and many more things. In other words doing nothing at all but sitting and laying down. This will pose a challenge this weekend since Marcus is going on a 4-wheeler trip with some friends.

Today is day 10 of my 15 days to wait until I get the results. I go on Monday morning to have the blood work done to check and this time around I am just taking the entire day off. Last time I did cave in and do a HPT and was very upset after it came back negative, but I still had hope that my blood work would come back positive. This time around I don't think I am going to do a HPT. I don't know why, maybe I am just scared of seeing yet another negative. I mean for over two years that is all I have seen so you start the think that is all you will ever see. I guess I will just get the news Monday when the nurse calls me.

I do still have HOPE that this will work and we will have our baby in our arms one day soon. I pray for them every night and talk to them when I am having a weird pain in my stomach. I know some of you probably think that I am going crazy talking to my stomach, but this is how I get through each day of this wait.


Jessica said...

I'm praying for you. You seem to be allowing yourself to rest in God's peace, but I'm sure that there are moments that the wait and everything that goes along with it seems like too much to bear. I know how it feels to pray for the best while trying to prepare yourself for the worst at the same time. I want you to know that I have NO DOUBT that you will have a child in your arms one day. I am fervently praying that this will be the time that you get preganant. I know that the wait can be wearing on you, and I am praying for you to continually be strengthen and comforted by the Lord.

full of faith said...

hi! My name is Lori Edmonds, and I used to attend church with Marcus and Jenn and Ryan Tucker. I just wanted u to know that i understand your infertility situation, as my DH and I are also going thru this. We are planning to do IUI this month with DS. This will be our first time and i'm super nervous. Financially, we weren't able to do any more testing on my DH to locate sperm to do IVF, so I hope this works. We also just became licensed to foster/adopt, as we want a large family. I just wanted to let u know i'm thinking and praying for u guys. Keep the faith...if you've seen the show"facing the giants" you'll remember the line to "prepare your fields for rain and God WILL provide the rain." God Bless!

Heather said...

I have been thiking about you and praying for you every day for the last 10...thanks for updating! I am praying without ceasing for God's peace as you await the results, and for a big fat positive!!!

Hollie said...

The wait is so horrible and long and insane. I'm praying for you that you are pregnant with a healthy child.