Today is my first day back at work since my transfer!!! I was able to take off 9 days to just relax and do nothing at all!!!! I guess that is a BIG positive to working for family. I gladly took those days off to just take it easy and make sure that I took care of my body as much as I could. For some reason I am more nervous this time around than the first time. I am just very aware of every ache and pain and they make me scared this time around. I do feel a lot different this time around, not any better, but different. I still am having some of the side effects of the medicines and other aches and pains that make me want to just lie down and not move. I am still limited to not lifting anything over 5lb (which is everything), walking slowly, no cooking, no cleaning, no baths, no walking up and down stairs and many more things. In other words doing nothing at all but sitting and laying down. This will pose a challenge this weekend since Marcus is going on a 4-wheeler trip with some friends.
Today is day 10 of my 15 days to wait until I get the results. I go on Monday morning to have the blood work done to check and this time around I am just taking the entire day off. Last time I did cave in and do a HPT and was very upset after it came back negative, but I still had hope that my blood work would come back positive. This time around I don't think I am going to do a HPT. I don't know why, maybe I am just scared of seeing yet another negative. I mean for over two years that is all I have seen so you start the think that is all you will ever see. I guess I will just get the news Monday when the nurse calls me.
I do still have HOPE that this will work and we will have our baby in our arms one day soon. I pray for them every night and talk to them when I am having a weird pain in my stomach. I know some of you probably think that I am going crazy talking to my stomach, but this is how I get through each day of this wait.