Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Okay God, I am listening!

This post has been sitting in my edit post folder and I have just now had the time to finish it.


I have finally called to schedule my exploratory surgery. I was very worried that our insurance would not cover any of this surgery since being diagnosed with infertility. You see, they cover testing but nothing after the diagnosis has been made. So I called to see how much this surgery was going to cost us...to see what would be added to our infertility debt. Another problem was going to be the hospital that I have to have it done at. I was pretty sure both locations that my RE does this at would be out-of-network. Our insurance is pretty different than others because we are connected to a particular hospital and we have to use only that hospital (the one my husband works at). So I made the call that I kept putting off. She said that she would have to make some calls and get back to me on all the details.........




She finally called me back a day and a half later...........




Our insurance will cover 75% of the surgery and my doctor agreed to do the surgery at an in-network hospital, just for us!!!!! (Not really, just for us, she does some procedures at this hospital just not exactly the one that I need to have). This was a huge relief and answered prayer. I went ahead and bit the bullet (not really sure what that expression means) and scheduled my surgery....it will be on July 10th. She was already booked until the first of June and the month of June is kind of crazy for me and I didn't want to have to done on the 4th of July weekend. Sooooo July 10th is the date!!!! It will be a laparoscopy surgery to check my endo (if I have it or not) and then check my blood supply to my uterus and take a biopsy while in there. There are some other things that she is going to check out but I can't remember everything. I am not sure if I want her to find anything or not??? I guess whatever she finds or doesn't find will be Gods will and I will accept that and move on in whatever direction is needed.


This past Sunday God was trying to tell me something... I am just not sure what it was???? So the morning started out going to Sunday School and when we walk in there is a lady visiting that is eight months pregnant, so of course the pregnancy talk went on and I was fine. Then I go to church and a lady walks in with a 3 month old baby and sits right in front of me. I can't see this stuff without my mind imagining that being myself pregnant or myself with a new born baby. So I gather my composure and get through church. Later that evening we go to Coffee House at our church and a couple that has maybe been married a month announces that they are pregnant!!! Ok God what are you trying to tell me????? Are you just seeing how I am going to handle these situations, no, you already know how I will react. So I get through my Sunday full of pregnancies, babies and announcements and go to work on Monday and I am greeted by the lady up here counting down the days until her daughter is due (only 25 more days if anyone wants to know). Please just continue to pray for my endurance through this waiting period. Most days I am great and at peace waiting, but the days that it seems to come at me from every direction are hard.

3 comments:

Mom2Mcube said...

I will not even try to say I know or can imagine how you feel. Getting pregnant was extremely easy for me. God has truly blessed me. I have always felt guilty because it was easy for me, and there are women like you who want to have a child and struggle. God WILL get you through this. He has already chosen your path, you just need to be sure and listen for his directions. I will be praying for you guys.

NeNe said...

I am so glad your insurance will cover the SX- that is such a blessing! And you know I know how hard waiting is. How easy it is to doubt and second guess and lose hope. But what is amazing is that you're listening to God...which is more important than anything else. It will carry you through, along with many prayers :) I'm praying for you!

sweet jenn said...

I thought about you THAT Sunday. I even told Ryan when we got home that I knew it must have been hard for you beginning in Sunday School. I totally wanted to throw my arms around you and carry you somewhere else cause I knew you would be screaming inside....but, I guess I'm glad I didn't if God was speaking to you. Hang in there....

....I have said it before and I'll say it again....you are stronger than you know....take courage...don't lose heart....and remember I love you and I am always here for you to cry with you, to cheer for you, or just to be quiet with you....whatever you need.