Thursday, July 16, 2009

How can I be here and not be moved?

So I have started writing three different post and not finished them.......I don't really know why...don't think they are very interesting, I am not motivated....many different reasons. There are so many different things that I am involved with right now and many different issues that I am dealing with. God has me involved in many different areas that if I would have known the full extent of what it would encompass I probably would have gone another way. Maybe that is why God shows us just enough and will slowly reveal the full picture to us. This way we can look back on where we have come from. Like I said I probably would have shied away from certain situations and certain conversations, but some how God has moved me right in the center of these conversations and situations and I am trying to follow Colossians 3:12 in every aspect of my life. At home, at work, at church and just every day life I am trying to show compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. And boy is it hard at times!!! Emphasis trying....I am pretty sure I failed at a few of these while talking with A T&T rep earlier today for a very long time. I am still a work in progress. There are so many different things that I am dealing with, that even the closest people in my life don't even know the full extent of what these are. I am physically and emotional exhausted at times, but I know I am right where God wants me to be. I have to wonder why has God placed me in some of these areas, what does he see in me to be able to handle all of this, along with the emotional rollercoaster of infertility? On some level maybe God is putting all of this on my plate because there is no way that I could handle all of this on my own. I have realized that I can't do any of this with my strength! Only with Christ strength I am able to bear the load that is over me. He is my everything and bears the weight of my problems and guides me through each step along the way. I just want to make sure I am following Him and really trust that God can work through whatever situation or problem I am facing BIG or small!!! I have been able to be a part of some pretty amazing things and I want to continue to be moved and changed. I love the song Everything by Lifehouse: Find me here and speak to me, You are the light that's leading me, You are the strength that keeps me walking, You are the hope that keeps me trusting...How can I be here and not be moved!!!!

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